Saturday, March 9, 2013
THE LORDS OF SALEM REVIEW
THE LORDS OF SALEM REVIEW
mxims_01.
Zombie always makes the gigantic mistake of putting in his talentless wife in a high profile role. May be worth a try on DVD some day.
Bubaroo7734.
I'll still watch it. I like the majority of Rob's work and don't doubt this will certainly keep me entertained. Which, in the end, isn't that what they're for?
uneeda_slap.
Masterbating nuns... Lol. No thanks.
Fastguy77.
Zombie, crap musician, crap director.
Yatrix30.
You're half right. His music is nice.
jman198624.
Go Anal!
bmuzyn.
I enjoyed the remake of Halloween, but the sequel was bad... All of his movies tend to have trailer trash/whiskey tango characters... expand your universe RZ.
P_9_X.
a big F u Rob zombie,u satanist...
Zombienerd16.
I really dig House of 1000 Corpses, and The Devil Rejects. His last other films all seem terrible.
DevilmanEX.
Trailer still looks pretty sick though
Jasonefdrums.
Rotten tomatoes for movies Ign gamespot kotaku for games YouTube for everything else
JoshX042.
Didn't even know this was a thing until now. If I didn't care about it before, I certainly care about it even less now...
DuhMuhBuh.
Wrong
Froggywoggy.
I just want to watch this for all the cool character designs. It's a bit like Silent Hill - I didn't watch it for the story (especially as Sean Bean doesn't die. I mean, wtf...)
Count333.
I'll watch it for myself IGN. Your reviews of movies always differ from mine. I think it's because mainstream media is too overly critical and couldn't spot a great movie if it shot out their asses!
UndeadEmperor.
Duditsabur the witches taker there?
skaarofman.
You have no Idea what you just watched do you? I fee like i just read a harry potter review from a Christian Minister.
Zeppalicious.
This movie looks horrible. I'm a Zombie fan (music) and I enjoy his movies (House of 1k Corpses, Devils Rejects, Halloween 1&2) and when I heard he was doing a movie like this, I thought "Oh cool, original content." I figured it would be a twisted take on the Salem Witch trials...then I saw the first trailer. I immediately lost hope in the film. Looked atrocious.
thungbang.
I hadn't even heard of this movie until just now. Rob Zombie should stop making movies.
chilipeppersman.
Im gonna have to look into these reviews some more, cause i was actually looking foreard to this a little bit.
ren-heok.
I for one can't wait for this film! As well as the Evil Dead and Maniac remake
OmnipotentZombie.
I'd pay to see Rod Zombie play live, but I wouldn't pay to see his movies
OmnipotentZombie.
*Rob*
powerslayer67-tk.
Thing about zombie is he has a great vision for campy B movie material but he fails because he tries to take himself way too seriously.
SkyrimResident.
Sounds like a Rob Zombie movie, if you liked the others you will probably enjoy this one. I am still going to watch it, even if IGN does not think I should.
infestedblair.
I want to see Rob Zombie make an animated horror-comedy. I think the surreal approach would bode well on the big screen.
Lastmisanthope.
He did already - The Haunted World of El Superbeasto
infestedblair.
Ha, I just saw someone else's comment to my post. I will have to check that one out. Thanks.
Bridawgg.
Not sure if you're being sarcastic or not, but he did exactly that with The Haunted World of El Superbeasto. It was straight to DVD. I thought it was great.
infestedblair.
I didn't know he made it. I thought he was a producer or something to it. I will have to check it out, thanks!
ag3ntxii.
sounds great!
theunit27.
Just rent The Three Mothers Trilogy by Argento....
treyhop.
Whenever you're referencing other filmmakers, take the extra minute to look up the correct spelling. It's Alejandro JODOROWSKY not Jadoworsky!
Mr-Ball00nh4nds.
Sounds like its probably not a movie for everyone, and by the sound of it i can already tell critics are gonna hate it, but who cares, itll probably be fun to watch, and even if it is kinda crappy, i believe zombie can pull off a pretty amazing horror movie someday, one everyone will be talking about. But he definitely needs to cool it with having his wife in everything, she gets annoying.
Lord_Turdsley.
While I liked House of 1000 Corpses his only really good movie was Devil's Rejects.
kingtriton.
not interested
Wayne_1989.
Devils Rejects is the only Rob Zombie film worth watching. "Chinese Japanese dirty knees look at these"
darthpibe.
This guy needs to stop making movies, halloween 2 was awfull!!!, maybe the spark is over, time to go back to music.
kt3132.
I've always liked RZ for his music and/or films but I just think some of his films are a little one dimensional. I think somewhere in Rob is a true original horror filming waiting to happen...but he has a lot further to go.
Mando44646.
Do we actually expect the horror genre to be complete and coherent? Sure, some are better than others. But really, this is horror we're talking about here
Bubaroo7734.
American Psycho? That movie was great but the entire third act was a blur. Void is also another great movie that loses itself.
roarzola.
I loved the first Halloween and I wish he would do straight horror and tone back on the symbolism and "deep meanings" he tries to put in his films. The white horse in Halloween II didn't need to be there.
omriattalArkham.
What did you expect? A good horror film in 2013?
Spineshatter.
Starring, Kanye West!
Pinback_Sherman.
What does this mean? Is it supposed to be "period piece"? The movie kicks off in Salem Massachusetts, 1696, with a group of witches dancing and cackling around a fire before first desecrating their bodies and then denying Jesus Christ, like some period Keeping up with the Kardashians.
Chowie91.
A period piece is a film/tv show/play/book etc set in a different time period. the future doesn't count though. it is only really said about victorian times etc
Pinback_Sherman.
I know what period piece means. I meant is that last part of the sentence. It don't only mean Victorian times though. If you look at the best period piece a bunch are Civil War films.
mxims_01.
Zombie always makes the gigantic mistake of putting in his talentless wife in a high profile role. May be worth a try on DVD some day.
Bubaroo7734.
I'll still watch it. I like the majority of Rob's work and don't doubt this will certainly keep me entertained. Which, in the end, isn't that what they're for?
uneeda_slap.
Masterbating nuns... Lol. No thanks.
Fastguy77.
Zombie, crap musician, crap director.
Yatrix30.
You're half right. His music is nice.
jman198624.
Go Anal!
bmuzyn.
I enjoyed the remake of Halloween, but the sequel was bad... All of his movies tend to have trailer trash/whiskey tango characters... expand your universe RZ.
P_9_X.
a big F u Rob zombie,u satanist...
Zombienerd16.
I really dig House of 1000 Corpses, and The Devil Rejects. His last other films all seem terrible.
DevilmanEX.
Trailer still looks pretty sick though
Jasonefdrums.
Rotten tomatoes for movies Ign gamespot kotaku for games YouTube for everything else
JoshX042.
Didn't even know this was a thing until now. If I didn't care about it before, I certainly care about it even less now...
DuhMuhBuh.
Wrong
Froggywoggy.
I just want to watch this for all the cool character designs. It's a bit like Silent Hill - I didn't watch it for the story (especially as Sean Bean doesn't die. I mean, wtf...)
Count333.
I'll watch it for myself IGN. Your reviews of movies always differ from mine. I think it's because mainstream media is too overly critical and couldn't spot a great movie if it shot out their asses!
UndeadEmperor.
Duditsabur the witches taker there?
skaarofman.
You have no Idea what you just watched do you? I fee like i just read a harry potter review from a Christian Minister.
Zeppalicious.
This movie looks horrible. I'm a Zombie fan (music) and I enjoy his movies (House of 1k Corpses, Devils Rejects, Halloween 1&2) and when I heard he was doing a movie like this, I thought "Oh cool, original content." I figured it would be a twisted take on the Salem Witch trials...then I saw the first trailer. I immediately lost hope in the film. Looked atrocious.
thungbang.
I hadn't even heard of this movie until just now. Rob Zombie should stop making movies.
chilipeppersman.
Im gonna have to look into these reviews some more, cause i was actually looking foreard to this a little bit.
ren-heok.
I for one can't wait for this film! As well as the Evil Dead and Maniac remake
OmnipotentZombie.
I'd pay to see Rod Zombie play live, but I wouldn't pay to see his movies
OmnipotentZombie.
*Rob*
powerslayer67-tk.
Thing about zombie is he has a great vision for campy B movie material but he fails because he tries to take himself way too seriously.
SkyrimResident.
Sounds like a Rob Zombie movie, if you liked the others you will probably enjoy this one. I am still going to watch it, even if IGN does not think I should.
infestedblair.
I want to see Rob Zombie make an animated horror-comedy. I think the surreal approach would bode well on the big screen.
Lastmisanthope.
He did already - The Haunted World of El Superbeasto
infestedblair.
Ha, I just saw someone else's comment to my post. I will have to check that one out. Thanks.
Bridawgg.
Not sure if you're being sarcastic or not, but he did exactly that with The Haunted World of El Superbeasto. It was straight to DVD. I thought it was great.
infestedblair.
I didn't know he made it. I thought he was a producer or something to it. I will have to check it out, thanks!
ag3ntxii.
sounds great!
theunit27.
Just rent The Three Mothers Trilogy by Argento....
treyhop.
Whenever you're referencing other filmmakers, take the extra minute to look up the correct spelling. It's Alejandro JODOROWSKY not Jadoworsky!
Mr-Ball00nh4nds.
Sounds like its probably not a movie for everyone, and by the sound of it i can already tell critics are gonna hate it, but who cares, itll probably be fun to watch, and even if it is kinda crappy, i believe zombie can pull off a pretty amazing horror movie someday, one everyone will be talking about. But he definitely needs to cool it with having his wife in everything, she gets annoying.
Lord_Turdsley.
While I liked House of 1000 Corpses his only really good movie was Devil's Rejects.
kingtriton.
not interested
Wayne_1989.
Devils Rejects is the only Rob Zombie film worth watching. "Chinese Japanese dirty knees look at these"
darthpibe.
This guy needs to stop making movies, halloween 2 was awfull!!!, maybe the spark is over, time to go back to music.
kt3132.
I've always liked RZ for his music and/or films but I just think some of his films are a little one dimensional. I think somewhere in Rob is a true original horror filming waiting to happen...but he has a lot further to go.
Mando44646.
Do we actually expect the horror genre to be complete and coherent? Sure, some are better than others. But really, this is horror we're talking about here
Bubaroo7734.
American Psycho? That movie was great but the entire third act was a blur. Void is also another great movie that loses itself.
roarzola.
I loved the first Halloween and I wish he would do straight horror and tone back on the symbolism and "deep meanings" he tries to put in his films. The white horse in Halloween II didn't need to be there.
omriattalArkham.
What did you expect? A good horror film in 2013?
Spineshatter.
Starring, Kanye West!
Pinback_Sherman.
What does this mean? Is it supposed to be "period piece"? The movie kicks off in Salem Massachusetts, 1696, with a group of witches dancing and cackling around a fire before first desecrating their bodies and then denying Jesus Christ, like some period Keeping up with the Kardashians.
Chowie91.
A period piece is a film/tv show/play/book etc set in a different time period. the future doesn't count though. it is only really said about victorian times etc
Pinback_Sherman.
I know what period piece means. I meant is that last part of the sentence. It don't only mean Victorian times though. If you look at the best period piece a bunch are Civil War films.
westpark211.
You trust IGN reviews?
carlpain.
Games: Yes. Comics: Not (90% of the guys are Marvel fanboys). Movies: 50-50. Technology (phones, laptops, pcs, tablets): Never.
Gamer_Since_Birth.
Thats a fair way to look at it i'd say. I dunno about the comics but the movies and tv they can be very biased. But game reviews are usually pretty accurate
mboehm88.
TV show ratings I usually disagree with them on. They've given some horrible reviews to great episodes of Big Bang Theory and other comedies
sterlingh.
Big Bang Theory fails to humor me again and again. I guess I just prefer more sophisticated comedy.
unoriginal_bastard.
Such as?
Thelegitblade.
I think he meant real comedies like.... Workaholics, Burning Love, Children's Hospital, Chappelles Show... You know, comedies.
Pinback_Sherman.
(ie) Things without laugh tracks. Oh - you forgot Louie.
mboehm88.
If he meant Workaholics as a sophisticated comedy then that'd be stupid. I love workaholics but it's the furthest thing from sophisticated that there is.
Thelegitblade.
Workaholics is obviously for the upper echelon of comedy viewers, striking with profound wit, creativity, and seemingly so dumb, the writers have to be incredibly smart. But the Big Bang Theory is based off the nerd stereotypes, boring scenarios, and uses big words to trick people into thinking it is smart, where in all actuality it's just not.
mboehm88.
While I agree that Workaholics is awesome, I still don't think it's made for any sort of "upper echelon". I think everyone that understands poop jokes could get into it. Big Bang was really really funny when it first started but, like most comedies, it has fallen since it started. South Park, Family Guy, The Simpsons...all those have faltered and aren't as funny as they once were (Although I will admit South Park has some really killer episodes mixed in with some filler episodes)
ViralOblivion.
You didn't even list curb your enthusiasm shame on you
sterlingh.
I meant shows that actually require some thinking. Parks and Rec, Arrested Development, Wilfred, The IT Crowd, and Todd Margaret, for example. I don't like falling asleep when I'm watching something.
mcquack306.
I would think It's Always Sunny part of the sophisticated comedy mixed in with the dark humor
unoriginal_bastard.
That's what I thought. With the exception of some aspects of P&R and Arrested Development, there is no such thing as "sophisticated" comedy.
Thom804.
Comedy requires thought? That's a new one on me. If it's funny, it's funny. If it's not, you didn't get the joke in time, there's no thought procedure there.
systemzombie.
You must be a huge fan of toilet humor then.
Thom804.
Unsuprisingly, I am. I enjoy what you lot are all calling 'sophisticated' comedy (which is laughable in it's own way just so you know) as well as purile nonsense. The only forms i'm really not a fan of are mass marketed standup, and The Office (I just can't stand Ricky Gervais)
systemzombie.
I admit I hate stand-up. And the US version of the Office.
IriathZhul.
Deadwood.
chambertlo.
The moment you referred to Big Bang Theory as a comedy you lost all credibility. That show could not be any sh!ttier if it tried. You sir have no idea what comedy really is if you enjoy that tripe.
dsaunders1.
Really? I've seen some damn good scores on DC comics and Dark Horse comics in particular, with Marvel averaging somewhere in the "good" range.
carlpain.
They give other companies good scores. There is no way they will destroy Batman or Aquaman. The thing is that they normally praise Marvel for almost everything. Dude, a reviewer gave Bedlam #2 a 3.1 just because he didn't understand the story. Marvel gets the best and DC just a couple of "good job, guys" when everybody else does the same.
tfs229.
Yeah I would have to agree. Usually Marvel gets ratings in the "good" range except for some of the titles (Thor, All New X-men, Hulk, etc)
ballsandshaft.
Except on big budget games, I always subtract a healthy 1.5 - 2 points off because they're so damn inflated.
davidani1997.
Let's destroy your comment. Call of Duty Black Ops 2.
BigDoof12.
Not marvel fanboys, I am a fan of both. And Marvel is COMPLETELY DESTROYING DC right now
Neno2480.
No it is not. Batman, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, and even Supergirl are great to amazing reads. Captain Marvel and Thor are the only ones I can say that about with Marvel IMHO right now. The Marvel NOW! stuff hasn't really done that well.
Judge_Holden.
Daredevil, Spectacular Spidey, Nova.
Neno2480.
I'll give ya Daredevil but I am not a fan of the character and Nova is brand new. SS has been "meh" IMO.
Addcof.
That just isn't true.
Ragnarokmic.
I too read both, and that's not even close to true, destroying is what Marvel does on the cinema front and DC does on the animated front; depending on preference one or another could make an arguement on a slight lead, so that'd really have to make it a dead heat. Daredevil and Wonder Woman are IMO the 2 best comics currently hitting the shelf (at least big 2 wise), then between the companies it's such a hodge podge between expected and obscure hits I can't see anyway use the word "destroying."
Dnaisinmybody.
There have been times where game reviews where inaccurate but now they're pretty much spot on.
simo00o0o.
Games: 50-50 Movies: never
LiamNeeson.
games should be a 50-50 too.
focou.
TV: Yes
taipower88.
Shit > Rob Zombie
IriathZhul.
I'd agree, but Games are actually the reviews I read. The movie ones are occasionally fun to read but I look at the RT consensus.
Bubaroo7734.
It's shouldn't be about trust. It's someone else's opinion and I choose to ignore the obvious biased remarks and worry more about facts. Game glitches, plot holes in movies, things like that. Using an opinion to base an opinion just doesn't feel right to me.
stoptakingmyusername.
Reviews are statements of opinions. So long as they can justify their opinions, they are valid opinions. Just because people disagree with the opinion, they assume IGN is incompetent. Reviews should be read as a description of what they took away from the movie/game and the reasons why. They should advise purchases, not determine them. People really need to stop being babies about this.
televisioneyes.
I trust every man has an opinion, which is the point of a review. Not everything you like is a 9/10. Becuase liking something is not a testament to its quality. Use reviews for what they are, a way to gauge where you should spend your hard earned money.
Lolreviewscores.
For games: Yes For movies: Hell no.
Yatrix30.
You trust Rob Zombie?
TheNewGame.
IM LOOKING FORWARD TO JESSE JAMES DUPREE BLOWING HIMSELF UP IN HIS WOODEN BOX ON THE FULL THROTTLE SALOON. "PA POWWW"
Kidego71.
Jackyl rules....and its PUH-POW ;P
DBZSkyR1m.
They gave some movies.badd reviews. and yet those movies broke Box Office récords or those movies made alot $$ durnin the weekend. the shiitin movies suck and Got high score. I bet hangover 3 will get a 9
dsaunders1.
Dude, I honestly have no idea what you are saying. You seem to suggest that just because a movie makes a lot of money, it is good. May I direct your attention to the Transformers trilogy, please.
Mirriban.
I hate when people assume because the IGN bandwagon hates the Transformers movies they were terrible. Instead of stating they were terrible as a fact, maybe you should state that you did not think they were any good. Opinions are obviously greatly varied, because I enjoyed the hell out of 1, liked 3 a lot, and in my opinion 2 was meh. I saw 1 like 4 times when it was at the movies. But, yeah, not all mega titles are great. For instance, I did not enjoy the Hobbit at all, but for those who did, great.
gamesarefunn.
i know its opinions, but it bothers me when you say you didn't like Hobbit, why is that?
Mirriban.
In my opinion it feels very much like a cash cow, being someone who has read all the books. I felt like a single film, at most two would of done the book justice. The movie felt extremely drawn out to me, every scene seemed to overstay its welcome. And the movie appeared to repeat itself often. The scenes themselves, and even the characters were really well done, but it just felt bloated.
DBZSkyR1m.
My key pad is broken. hard to Type.
joesicario.
Games yes movies no.
miwvnen.
Games - Depends on the reviewer, but I have to say yes. Movies - Not really.
DBZSkyR1m.
On everything. there like miracle workers. Hell no! Gregmiller. is a Fanboy
Kidego71.
Ive have learned that whatever they say, its usually the exact opposite.
v1lle3.
That's a very weird question. One person writes a review and gives it a score he thinks is right. What is there to trust? That he is honest about his opinion? There is no objective score for a movie or game etc.
DekaStrike.
What make you not trust them?
metalhead9806.
Well... it sounds so freaking weird I'll have to check it out.
star_platinum_oraora.
This movie looks like ASS...
CTdodger.
This guy just needs to stop trying to make horror movies....and Eli Roth too. They both suck
Time-lord-Man.
This movie is going to make a... *puts sunglasses on corpse out of the box office YEAHHHHHH..??? *Crickets
Lovey0u.
DAMN, those crickets are LOUD
Time-lord-Man.
Oh, you have no idea
DBZSkyR1m.
Huh? Might want to. rephrase.that
mitchell271.
Are you channeling Shatner?
dsaunders1.
For real. This dude telling someone they need to rephrase something is like George Lucas advising a screenwriter to tone down the canned dialogue.
ZEMANATOR.
http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/8454/shreksunglasses.png
BigToph.
I love Rob Zombie movies!! enough said
oboehobo1337.
They are for a very niche audience though. Very campy and grindhousey. But hey, if you dig that, more power to ya!
Bridawgg.
Agreed. He hasn't made a single movie I didn't enjoy.
ScrotumSanchez.
Halloween 2 was a peanut clustered turd
ScrotumSanchez.
Halloween 2 was pure shit
theDEADcthulhu.
I enjoyed the halloween remake but halloween 2 i walked out of early. Nothin enjoyable about it. Only movie i ever left early out of sheer displeasure.
RyanHasselhoff.
IGN: come for the news, don't bother with the reviews
majorcoXsore.
the video game news seems to be lacking here lately imo.
RyanHasselhoff.
*sigh* i know...
majorcoXsore.
have they even mentioned the Tropes vs. Women in Video Games video that was released yesterday? Im not saying I agree or disagree with those videos but its something relevant to video games and what it represents is a hell of a lot more interesting than reading up on Fast 6. I pretty much just visit destructoid now.
RyanHasselhoff.
i watch AlphaOmegaSin's youtube rants, its enough for me LMAO
carlpain.
I think reviewers love to trash RZ after what he did in H2. I'll not trust this review.
Lovey0u.
Zombie makes cool films. I'll watch this
bbr1394.
The only Zombie film I've ever enjoyed was the Halloween reboot he made. The Devil's Rejects was bad and Halloween II was terrible. I might rent this one day and watch it on DVD/Blu-Ray.
carlpain.
That is something you don't read too often. Normally is the other way: Halloween: bad. The Devil's Rejects: good.
Shackleford42.
I agree, but I enjoyed both, the only Zombie film I didn't like was House of 1000 Corpses
Bubaroo7734.
That one was my favorite. Laughed hysterically at Bill Mosely the whole time.
Cerberus5000.
You should check out The Haunted World of El Superbeasto. It's an animated movie based off of a comic Zombie wrote. It's pretty hilarious, even if there isn't much plot to it.
Eve_II.
I always thought he was a horrible filmmaker so I kind of saw this one coming
blackethenn.
Was that King Diamond on the trailer?
sinch1.
He should have stuck with making the BLOB.
Richchr2.
As soon as I saw the name "Rob Zombie" attached to this movie, I knew it was gonna suck. Does this guy EVER stop sucking!? You would think a guy that claims to be a horror fan would make ONE decent horror flick. I can't believe I'm gonna say this.... I would see a Michael Bay film before going to see anything Rob Zombie puts out.... Never mind, don't hold me to that.
Tiraan.
As someone who played Twisted Metal and as a result knew Rob Zombie did music, this article taught me he also apparently makes movies. The more you know.
I_Say_Words.
To cast your wife in every movie just because is ridiculous, she's not stan lee and she's not a good actress. Get her off!
Britanga.
Tell that to Tim Burton, he puts both his wives in his films! To be fair though Johnny Depp does attempt to branch out here and there:D
Elzilla.
Movie is what I expected. As for Rob Zombie; he's never been one to make much sense, or tie things together very well. I've seen him forget lines on stage during Oz Fest, and just mumble and growl until he gets to a part he remembers.
sinz86irocblk.
I like Rob's work and his style. This review hardly discourages me. This guy lost me when he tried to act surprised that a horror film would have gore, death, and destruction. That and the Kardashian joke was f'ing lame.
zachtole.
Just recently saw this film, and this review goes to show that IGN writers have their heads so far up their asses, they can't tell the difference between kidney stones and pop rocks. Bizarre yes, Mediocre?...far from it. Psychedelics and surrealism penetrate a viewer in deeper ways than machetes and sharp sticks ever could. At it's core, LOS takes viewers down a very macabre memory lane with nothing more that simple intrigue pushing you along. Though the script may seem simple and characters unoriginal, this story is one any viewer can attach and relate themselves to, ultimately unearthing ones deepest fears and possibly their own inner demons. THIS is what great horror is. Terror without interpretation is merely violence and obscenities for profit.
ballstatic.
Not surprised. Pretty much every Zombie movie has been mediocre.
IriathZhul.
What an entertaining review.
alisonbrie.
A lot of critics liked this film, and said it was a surreal/horror with similarities to Kubrick. I'm actually kind of surprised it scored so low on IGN. I'm not a big Zombie fan (in fact, I only like Devil's Rejects and have hated everything else). But this movie looked really interesting compared to his other work. For those still interested and haven't written it off, check out this review: http://www.hitfix.com/motion-captured/review-rob-zombies-lords-of-salem-surprises-and-scares-at-midnight But then again, I guess none of us will know until we see it.
americanskillethead.
Well the trailer for this movie sucked so i wasn't really surprised the movie did
majorcoXsore.
a lot of movies have misleading trailers.
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